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| NEW UPDATE: September 4, 2007 Part Two Now Online... and a Special Tree Hi there. If anyone comes to check this site anymore I wanted to let you know that part 2 of the Ray Doherty story is now on www.thecolumnists.com. Also, the cast of The Fantasticks met at Sequoia earlier this month to dedicate a Sequoia tree to Ray (see photo here). If you're standing at the entrance of Carrington Hall looking back at the campus, it is on the left. There is a large rock and plaque inbedded in it in front of the tree (see photo here) Then on Sunday, Aug. 26, the Sequoia Alumni Association had a special presentation in the foyer of Carrington to honor Ray, Jay Selby and Ed Harris. All three now have plaques in the foyer. Also, a new drama teacher has been hired -- and she's a crackerjack! She's got so much enthusiasm and has already solicited the participation of the football team, the dance students, etc. for a rip-roaring production of "Little Shop of Horrors" which will open November 30 -- after special performances for local middle school students and the Sequoia student body. Then it runs two weekends, ending December 9th. Please, PLEASE encourage all Sequoia drama alumni to come, tell their families and friends -- and if you want to help make this production the first step in a resurgance of drama at Sequoia, I'm happy to put you in touch with the drama teacher. Thanks, everyone -- it's been a great run. And it's not over yet. :) Love, Joanne |
| NEW UPDATE: June 2, 2007 Ray’s Memorial Celebration on Monday, May 28th was an incredible event, even better than I could have ever dreamed. I’d say more than 500 people came, although I don’t think anyone has an official count. The program was quite long, but just about everyone said they loved it. We had wonderful speakers who talked about all aspects of Ray’s life, two fabulous numbers by the gigantic Ray Doherty Memorial Orchestra, put together by Gary Young and Diane Ryan. We also had two exceptionally talented emcees, our dear friends Paul Braverman and Dave Sikula, who kept us laughing – and kept the show moving. A special thanks as well to the talented Bob Sunshine for making his piano magic and all the great singers who donated their time and talent to the show. Special thanks also goes to Ray’s son, Bill Doherty, who spent endless hours putting together all the multimedia parts of the Memorial, and to his crew. And of course Dave Briggs deserves special mention for being the all-around ‘go-to’ guy every time we needed to use the theatre. I shouldn’t have begun these ‘thank yous’ because it’s difficult not to mention another 100 people who did their part to make everything come together. As the program says “Thanks to a cast of thousands….” People came from all over for Ray’s Memorial. A big last-minute surprise for me personally was the arrival of my cousin Dave and his wife, Donna, from Ohio. He sent me an email late Friday night that after reading so much on the message board from Ray’s students, he “just had to come and meet some of these people.” A former student, Carol Trumbull Parnell, came up to me after the Memorial and presented me with a lei. She lives in Kona, Hawaii, and said she flew over just for Ray’s Memorial, and flew back Tuesday morning. I’m also delighted to announce that the Ray Doherty Drama Scholarship fund has already gone over the $3,000 mark. And the first scholarship was presented to Melody Cardona, a very talented senior drama student, at the Memorial. You can view a copy of the magnificent Memorial program in Word or PDF formats. (NOTE: These are large files. It is recommended that you right-click the file and save to your desktop before opening.) Finally, I’m going to include my closing remarks from the Memorial. I wish everyone who has visited this site could have been there, especially so many of you wonderful Sequoia Players who have written such inspiring messages. Thank you again, one and all. ~Joanne Here are my comments: Wow….hasn’t this just been terrific? I mean….WOW! You know, I found out last Friday that the Ray Doherty Drama Scholarship has just topped the $3,000 mark. That’s so fantastic. We funded this year’s scholarship, but now we know that thanks to so many generous people – and we hope more donations will come in all year through – we’ll be able to make this a perpetual scholarship for young people as deserving as Melody. So, this is the time when we finally call it a wrap, the curtain falls. All those theatre cliques. If you look on the back of your program, you’ll see a ‘Ray-ism’ that says: ‘Leave ‘em wanting more.’ Sorry, dear. I’m not sure we did that today. Recently I was looking through Ray’s private trunk of papers, photos and memorabilia – something I had never done before because it was all his. I found an email that was sent to him in 2005 by his friend, Gary Young. There was a long list of sayings, but Ray had put a star next to only one of them. It said, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” That’s the way I’m going to remember our 25 years together. Finally, over the years whenever I went to see Ray in rehearsal – or when I was in the same play he was doing – I’d watch his scenes and then on the way home I’d make suggestions about how he should try this or that; maybe be more angry or act more bewildered – suggestions that I thought were really excellent. Usually he’d just stare at me in disbelief and say – come on all you Sequoia Players! Say this Ray-ism with me: “Get your own show.” Well, sweetie, thanks to you, I think we just did. Thank you all for coming. I feel truly that we ALL love Ray – and he knows it. Thank you. |
| ATTENTION FORMER SEQUOIA PLAYERS!!! Jason Abrams can't be the only person who keeps such memorabilia as a 22-year-old hall pass! Do you have some programs, tee shirts or other things from your days as a Sequoia player? If you'd like to share them, bring them with you to the Memorial Celebration. We'll have tables set up in the lobby where you can put out scrapbooks, programs, etc. Just remember to take them with you after the program. Thanks! ~The Doherty Family |
| May 11, 2007 Another nice article was written about Ray and his life in the San Francisco Chronicle. Here is a link to the online version. Here is a scan of the printed version. (You'll need Adobe Acrobat to open this. Get it free here.) Love, Joanne |
| May 1, 2007 The Ray Doherty Scholarship Beginning this year, a $1,000 scholarship will be given to a Sequoia High School graduating senior for his or her participation and contribution to the Sequoia Drama Department. The scholarship was created to honor Ray's dedication to excellence in drama at Sequoia, and its first recipient will be announced at the May 28th Memorial Celebration. If you'd like to contribute to the Ray Doherty Drama Scholarship:
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| April 30, 2007 We've just received approval from Sequoia High School to use Carrington Hall on Monday, May 28, beginning at 1 p.m. for the memorial celebration of the Amazing Life of Ray Doherty. Naturally, we're hoping that as many of you as possible will come and be a part of this celebration as you were of his life. More details to come as we develop this special celebration in Ray's honor. Ray's children and I are establishing a Ray Doherty Drama Scholarship, which will be given to the most deserving senior drama student each year. If you have been wanting to make a donation or charitable contribution in Ray's name, the family requests that they go toward the drama scholarship as well.
All of the Doherty family hope to see you on May 28th. Love, Joanne |
| April 24, 2007 A nice article was written about Ray and his life in the San Mateo County Times. I had been holding off on submitting articles to the newspapers until we had a date for the memorial celebration, but several local people had called the Times to ask if they were going to run a story. So they called me and also spoke with former students, etc. It's a wonderful article. Read using the links below. Here is a link to the online version. Here is a scan of the printed version. (You'll need Adobe Acrobat to open this. Get it free here.) Love, Joanne |
| April 20, 2007 Ray passed away today. In the end, we could see he was suffering, so even though I selfishly wanted to have him around a little while longer, we as a family agreed it was time to say goodbye. If there is a best part of any of this, it is that he found out he had cancer and then died in less than a month, so he did not suffer through the months or years of pain that many people do. The downside is that we were just so unprepared for his death. Some of my friends tell me you are never really prepared, even when you have a long time to get used to the idea. And certainly when you lose a loved one instantly in a car accident or some other tragedy, you get zero time to prepare yourself. There are two more "best parts" about Ray's illness. One is that his children and I have become closer and learned a lot more about each other in these few weeks than in all the years we've known each other. And of course this Web site is the final "best part." You have all been incredible in sharing your thoughts, concerns and stories. We have laughed though our tears a lot this past week. At Ray's request, there will be a colossal celebration of his life that he specifically said should be "about a month" after his passing. My hope is to have it at his "other" home, Carrington Hall. Every single one of you who have written something here (and even those who did not) are definitely invited. I expect it to be a happy, uplifting event, full of song and dance numbers from some of the shows he's been in and/or directed, music, great stories and lots of laughter. When we set the date, you all will be the first to know. I want to leave you with this thought about Ray from my heart. During our wedding ceremony, we decided to say a few words to each other (as many couples do). I started mine out by saying "You bring laughter into my life." I know he brought laughter, and so much, much more, into yours as well. Bless you all, Joanne |
| April 19, 2007 Ray's children and I made the difficult decision to allow Ray to be put on a morphine infusion today. Unlike two days ago, yesterday was one where he spoke very little and ate almost nothing. Today he seemed to be sleeping just about all the time, and his breathing is very labored. The doctors said he is too weak to come home, so all of us gathered in his room this afternoon as the morphine package was started. He said he wanted a party, so we read him a lot of the wonderful, fabulous messages you all have posted on this Web site, and he smiled, sometimes said a word, then went back to sleep. This is not the news we wanted. We had hoped to have Ray with us for at least a little while longer. But he told me yesterday that he had had "a good run," and I think he's ready to go. Thank you all so much for your thoughts and messages. Please keep them coming. They mean more to us that you will ever know. Love, Joanne, Bill, Elizabeth, Patty and John |
| April 17, 2007 What a difference a day makes! Today was a quantum leap different than yesterday...something the doctor said would happen. Yesterday Ray was almost comatose and uncommunicative. Today when I came into his room he said he had talked with the doctor and that he wanted to "go." When I asked him what he meant, he said, "I just want to go to sleep." I told him that if he was in pain, then I understood. ut he said he wasn't, so I told him that I wasn't ready to let him go, nor were his friends and family. The next thing you know he started thinking it through and then he said, "So I guess I'll stay for another day." His daughters came today, too, and we were all blown away by how different he seemed from the day before. By the time we left, we were hugging each other and feeling so much better because we now think we'll have him around for a while longer. So, yes, there will be good days and bad days. We're definitely going to cherish each of the good ones. I told Ray about this Web site today, and I could tell he was overcome with emotion. Assuming he's as lucid tomorrow as today, we'll bring in a laptop computer and begin showing him all of your wonderful messages. If that doesn't work (if the hospital isn't wired for wireless), then I'll resort to printing out your messages and bringing them with me to show him. All I can say is: A huge, giant WOW! You all rock. Thank you, thank you, and thank you. Love, Joanne |
| April 16, 2007 Ray has not been responding well to most of the medical efforts made in the last few days. He is now sleeping almost all the time, and he is eating and drinking very little. Because he was in pain today, the doctors decided not to transfer him to the Extended Care Center, nor to give him a radiation treatment. In late afternoon, a PICC line was inserted into his upper arm so that he could receive IVs and medication without having to continually find another vein whenever he needed additional internal fluids. The first PICC line wasn't exactly right, so they had to re-align it, and by that time he was exhausted and fell asleep. If anyone wishes to come by for a brief visit, please let me know. I'm not sure how much he'll be awake, but for a few brief moments when someone new shows up, he makes an effort to stay awake and say hello. Thank you everyone for your wonderful thoughts, messages and support. Keep those positive messages coming :) Love, Joanne |
| APRIL 12, 2007 It’s amazing to me the many ups and downs you have when your life suddenly turns upside down and you realize that your life partner only has a finite amount of time left. Of course that’s true of all of us, but usually we don’t know when that time will be. So many people – even many who I don’t know…former students from the 70s, 80s, 90s, etc., and many others have sent emails to me about Ray or for Ray, and I’m doing my best to print them all out and get them to him now that he has somewhat stabilized and has gained a little strength. Here’s what’s happened since I sent out the last email on Monday: 1 – The biopsy affirmed what we already knew: He has cancerous tumors throughout his lungs, bones and liver. 2 -- The oncologist we met with on Tuesday told us that chemo would both be too hard on Ray and would give
him very little benefit since he has large cell rather than small cell cancer (or maybe it’s the other way around. At
this point, it’s not important…at least not to me). 4 – Today Ray was transported to Mills Hospital for the first of what will be 10 radiation treatments that are
concentrated on two areas: His right lung in hopes of getting some oxygen into it, and a tumor in his
lower back to relieve the pain in his left foot and leg. |
| MARCH 31, 2007 This is not going to be an easy email for me to write or for you to read. I admit I’m being a coward, but I just can’t face talking to each of you one at a time….and yet I thought you would want to know about Ray. As you might imagine, it’s not good news. Ray has inoperable cancer. It has already spread and is in his bones, his liver and his lungs. We are going on Monday to have a biopsy of his liver so the doctors can determine where it started, what kind of cancer it is and how best to treat it. After that, he may face chemotherapy or radiation, or both. But the hard fact is that he is not going to get better. It may go into remission, or it may not. It could be a few weeks (which would be, of course, our worst nightmare), or it could be a few months….or at the outmost, two years. But then, no doctor is infallible, so we can always hope. You are all dear to us, and I know you care about Ray. So I hope you’ll understand when I say that at this juncture, please give us a few days to both absorb all of this and find out more after the biopsy. Our children all know and are supporting us in the most fantastic ways. There’s very little else to say because I know your
thoughts are with us at this time. Thank you for your
kindnesses and
friendships. And please do call, write, or email Ray
in a few days. |
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Last updated April 30, 2007